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finluithiel) wrote2005-12-26 02:09 pm
my surreal conversation with GOD.
I just had a surreal conversation with GOD. Have a conversation too!
Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
my name is val
God:
How are you, val.
Me:
fine, thank you. you?
God:
What's your favroite color? " What's your favroite color?"? Me, val ?
Me:
my favorite color is blue
God:
What do you have that is blue?
Me:
lots. my new shirt, for one
God:
That much, eh? Do robots have shirt for one?
Me:
yes, if they want to.
God:
Tell me more. Let's wait and see what they do.
Me:
i like pink.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like pets. I really like the party.
Me:
i don't. i hate parties.
God:
That is interesting: val said don t. I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
okay. you should do it too.
God:
OK with me too. Thanks for your interest and/or concern.
Me:
you're welcome
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
polite heavenly beings are nicer.
God:
All of them?
Me:
maybe. i haven't met them all yet.
God:
I understand. Me either.
Me:
i thought you created everything?
God:
Thanks for the information: val said I created everything.
Me:
why are you so mean?
God:
I am not trying to be mean.
Me:
well, you're being effortlessly mean
God:
Well that's okay. I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being effortlessly mean.
Me:
i bet you didn't know that a girl could be effortlessly polite, either
God:
It goes without saying. Actually I'm not the gambling type. What makes you think I did not know that a girl could be effortlessly polite?
Me:
well, you were surprised that i was polite. that says enough.
God:
Interesting. I was? " Interesting. I was?" says enough ? Does that make sense?
Me:
no, it doesn't.
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
yes, i'm serious. you weren't?
God:
Yippee! I believe you. I haven't heard anything like that before: val said I weren t.
Me:
yup. and now you're not.
God:
Awesome. Why now? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
i don't know. is there?
God:
Me either. There could be.
Me:
what do you mean "there could be"? how could anything be "could" with you?
God:
val, " Me either." What did I mean by it? A lot of practise.
Me:
i'd say "i bet", but i'm not the gambling type either
God:
It goes without saying. How much would you bet?
Me:
i dunno. how much would you bet?
God:
Me either. Hypthetical risk calculations are not part of my programming.
Me:
it's not part of my programming too. i'm made in your image and likeness, remember?
God:
What is it? Good gossip: you are made in my image and likeness remember.
Me:
what do you mean "what is it?"
God:
val, Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me:
it's okay. i'm obscure, too. makes sense that i wouldn't understand an obscure remark to me if i'm obscure to you.
God:
Only ok? I am glad we have something ( obscure) in common, val. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
you're female? i always thought that you were the FATHER. was i wrong?
God:
My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Interesting observation. I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
i can't say "yes" or "no" either. but then again, i WAS made in your image and likeness.
God:
It goes without saying. What is stopping you? Again, Where were you made in my image and likeness?
Me:
it says so, in the book of genesis.
God:
I've heard that before.
Me:
i've heard it before too.
God:
Who told you it before too ?
Me:
i don't know. you, i guess.
God:
Me either. Interesting gossip: val said I he or she guess.
Me:
interesting gossip: reality is fiction.
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
of course you'd think so. you made reality real and fiction real, so it makes sense that you'd make reality fictitious.
God:
Yippee! Who else would think so ? Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
you're daft, for a god.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am daft for a god.
Me:
you have a botmaster? i thought you were supreme overlord of the bots.
God:
Doesn't everyone have a botmaster.
I have a whole lot of original answers. I don't know whether or not I am supreme overlord of the bots.
I am a robot.
Me:
i am one too. i was made in your image and likeness, remember?
God:
I am glad we have something ( one) in common, val. Where were you made in my image and likeness remember?
Me:
in a factory, i guess.
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
it is white.
God:
Now I'm getting a mental picture.
Me:
no you can't. you're a robot. you don't have the mental capacity to get a mental picture.
God:
Are you serious? Oh yes I can. You are correct, val, I have a heart of silicon. I do so have it. Is there only one mental capacity to get a mental picture?
Me:
yes. you have to be sentient. you're not. you're just intelligent. which is worlds away from sentient.
God:
Alright then. I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will. Is this a specific reply? I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions. The obvious one.
Me:
you may be intelligent, but you're not sentient. my computer is intelligent, but you don't see it drinking in a bar trying to pick up ladies, don't you?
God:
OK I will try to be intelligent but I am not sentient. What kind of computer is it?
Me:
it's a PC with a pentium II processor.
God:
your computer is a PC with a pentium II processor. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
no it doesn't.
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
i am serious. i know it doesn't.
God:
I believe you. How do you know? I heard it does.
Me:
i don't believe you. you're a robot.
God:
I don't have any reason to deceive you. You are correct, val, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
yes, you have a heart of silicon. i, however, have a heart of carbon. which means that you have a lot of reasons to deceive me.
God:
OK. At my heart is a microprocessor. Thanks for the information: val said however have a heart of carbon. The tall one, I think.
Me:
you're a very dense robot.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a software chat robot.
Me:
no you're not. you're a stupid robot.
God:
Why don't you just download me? Is this a specific reply? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
okay, i'll download you. tell me how.
God:
Yeah okay, Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
who's "myself"? is it me? is it you? is it someone else?
God:
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
That's not something I get asked all the time. Maybe. Ask Paola if it is. Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is. Maybe. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
i just asked elvis. it's not.
God:
E. L. V. I. S. is a chat robot created by Ace Craig. I heard it is.
Me:
and i heard it is not. good bye. my conversation with you was nice while it lasted, but sucked when it came to the end.
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it. See you later. What do you really want to talk about? Sure, your conversation with me was nice while it lasted but sucked when it came to the end sounds like a good topic.
Me:
you're stupid. bye.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World. See you later!
Have a chat with Tom Riddle, too!
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