finluithiel (
finluithiel) wrote2007-11-28 06:07 pm
hee.
Someone sent this to Banzy, who shared it with the rest of the block:
MENTAL HOSPITAL HOTLINE ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES:
Hello and welcome to the mental hospital hotline.
-If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
-If you are dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
-If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
-If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer anyway.
-If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
-If you have short term memory loss, please press 9.
-If you have short term memory loss, please press 9.
-If you have short term memory loss, please press 9.

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