i'm a little teapot

You know what annoys me about using American textbooks for our classes? It's not the cultural references and turns of phrase that fly way over my head (though those are annoying too) -- no, it's the fact that they don't use the goddamn metric system. How am I to convert the phrase "the liver can metabolize about 1 ounce of 100 proof liquor per hour" into terms that make sense to me when I have no idea how much 1 ounce is when converted to milliliters? It's little things like this that drives me absolutely crazy. Gragh.

I was Wikipedia-hopping, when I found the article on female hysteria.

I quote:

A prominent physician from the second century, Galen, wrote that hysteria was a disease caused by sexual deprivation in particularly passionate women: Hysteria was noted quite often in virgins, nuns, widows and, occasionally, married women. The prescription in medieval and renaissance medicine was intercourse if married, marriage if single, or vaginal massage (pelvic massage) by a midwife as a last recourse.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. :O

And, as a bonus: turn-of-the-20th-century vibrators. It's WEIRD, I tell you! WEIRD!

I just woke up from a nap (in front of the laptop, no less) and a weird dream. It involved Sigmund Freud and B.F. Skinner in a Celebrity Deathmatch-type scenario, you know, that MTV show with the animated clay figures? They were vying for the title of Best Psychologist Evar.

The crowd was shouting "Freude! Freude!" and I was going, "Joy? Why are they shouting joy?" and I asked person next to me (who sort-of-but-not-quite looked like both a centaur and a manananggal) that question, and she was like, "Joy? No, we're not cheering for joy, we're cheering for Freud!" I then spent like 3 (dream-time) hours wondering how Freud mutated into Freude and I was about to figure it out when I woke up.

Blegh. And Skinner was winning too, poo.

***

Y HALO THAR 10-page paper due in a few hours!

Someone sent this to Banzy, who shared it with the rest of the block:

MENTAL HOSPITAL HOTLINE ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES:

Hello and welcome to the mental hospital hotline.

-If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

-If you are dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

-If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

-If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

-If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

-If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer anyway.

-If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

-If you have short term memory loss, please press 9.

-If you have short term memory loss, please press 9.

-If you have short term memory loss, please press 9.

My sister emailed this to me. They went over this piece for her creative writing workshop:

We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma
mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only
now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the
eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya.
And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I
get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He
explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect
me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya,
"The!" Aba ! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal
niya! I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a
blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch
na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks
God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time.
After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in
a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This
is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces.
Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may
babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What the
fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told
her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get
our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling
her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other
woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own
business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na
rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy.
Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look
at is this way. She's our of our lives."

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just
burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a
mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your
soul.

I second emotion.

They're pushing for David Tennant to be cast as Montgomery Scott in the 12th (I think?) Star Trek movie over at AICN because he's a Scot. While I personally don't think he'd fit the role (because, face it, Scotty never had a real Scottish accent...), I had a light bulb moment: the sonic screwdriver! SCOTTY IS ACTUALLY THE DOCTOR!

And just as the thought occurred to me, most of my mental processes shut down - for self-preservation, I think. I really, really don't have to follow that train of thought to its conclusion...

***

Speaking of the Star Trek movie, one of the descriptions of Sulu was that the character is "a bit of a wildcat." I had one big LOL moment over that. Is THAT what they're calling it these days? xD

I skipped PSY106 earlier because my stomach said, "HA! I SHALL ACIDIFY MYSELF AND MAKE VAL SUFFER!" and did just that. Gah. I blame the bagoong I ate earlier. It's been so long since I ate bagoong that I forgot exactly why I haven't eaten it for a long time. The stupid thing makes my stomach hyperacidic. Blegh. Oh well. I took two tablets of antacid earlier, though they started working just now, more than an hour later. @__@

UAAP-watching moments (I'm a bit bitter about not being able to get tickets for the game):

3.45PM - Ooh, NU vs. UST. GO USTE GO!

4.05PM - YAY UST WON!

4.15PM - Oh god, STFU pretentious people! Stop overdramatizing everything. So DLSU didn't play last season. WE ALL KNOW THAT. We all want the game to start like RIGHT NOW and you're not helping.

4.20PM - Ateneo's line-up is more diverse, racially speaking, than DLSU. Hm.

5.10PM - I go to the bathroom for less than a minute, and I go back to catch Norman Black and the DLSU coach arguing with the referee. Gah. Why do I miss these things? D:

5.13PM - The first half isn't over yet? These coaches and their obsession with timing out!

5.25PM - Halftime show! I still find the DLSU pep squad's arm movements dorky, although man do those guys have lower body strength! Doing those movements have to be a bitch to practice.

5.30PM - The BBB is doing their routine, and OMG STFU PRETENTIOUS COMMENTATORS! I want to watch the show, not listen to you prattle on and on. D:

6.05PM - OH GOD IT'S THE FOURTH QUARTER AND ADMU IS IN THE LEAD. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET US WIN LET US WIN!!!

6.29PM - The game isn't over yet, and GAH WE'RE CURRENTLY TIED, 65-65!

7.00PM - OMG WE WON WE WON WE WON WE FUCKING WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been looking for Japan's Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi in various magazines and newspapers for the past few months (because, heh, I'm a huge fan of his hair xD), only to find out that he's not the Prime Minister of Japan anymore. It turns out that he resigned last September. (Why didn't I notice that?)

I'm going to miss seeing his hair on TV. D:

Am currently in our new room in our new unit. The walls are of the 6-inch stripe variety, alternating between dark violet and lilac with an accent color of aquamarine blue beneath. (I know the color combination seems strange, but once I take a picture, you'll see that IT WORKS IT REALLY WORKS!!

It's taking all my willpower not to squee and dance a jig giddily, because the men working on the electric circuits certainly wouldn't appreciate it. 8D

Also, broadband Internet service is Teh Luv. Especially if it's broadband Internet service paid for by my mom's office. xD

My sister is currently hogging the phone line, so I can't connect to the Net right now. :( This calls for a long entry!

***

I watched X3 yesterday with Christine, Chris, She-she and Elmo. The movie was nice, although then ending all but screamed, THERE'S GOING TO BE A SEQUEL!!!

( X3 ramblings. GO ME! )

We roamed around the mall a bit after the movie. Time Crisis II is addicting, although the "guns" used are heavy. T_T Also, playing air hockey was fun, especially since I found out that I haven't lost my skills at all when I won. XD

We also slept over at Chris' house (with the exception of Elmo), where we watched DVDs (that was when we all concurred that the actor who played Scipio in Thief Lord has a smexy voice XD), ate a lot, and played Balderdash until our brains turned to mush. :D

***

A trivia I picked up after playing Balderdash:

There's this film called The Black Shampoo, which is about an African-American hairdresser who wages a vendetta against the Mafia with a chainsaw. (The dudes who created the game said that they double-check their sources, so that means the movie in question is for real...)

***

I don't check my mail for 36 hours, and lo! - 23 spam mail messages are waiting for me. I get more spam mail than ordinary mail, which is why I miss hotmail more and more, because I never really had to see the spam and junk mail, since MSN automatically filters them out...


So goodbye to the house by the lake in the park, and the girl in the little green hat!